I thought this poem should go in my blog because it is a clear representation of how my brain works through a process. I wrote this poem in two parts, see if you can spot the change.

The first part, I wrote in the early hours of the morning when I couldn’t sleep because I felt so low. In these moments I was contemplating all my relationships, feeling alone and unwanted. The second part, I wrote two days later when I began to feel whole again. I had started to feel better and appreciate my support systems, but mainly, I had started to be able to see how I had dug myself out from my hole (again), and how it gets easier each time I do it.

The Process

Does my brain ever want to function?
Will it ever be right?
Or maybe, should it stop looking inside
Maybe, she should try change her life,
What life
How is this living?
Trapped everyday in this neuronal prison
The key got lost in the river
The search party went home 
She will still stand there -
Cold and alone.

No one quite gets it
Their pain isn’t the same
No one can feel that same drop of rain -
That sends her into shivers
A spiral of hurt
The voice in her head
Says she’s no better than dirt.

Support of a structure
Can often fail 
From earthquakes that come 
The wind and the hail
But, each time it falters
We try to rebuild.
Brick by brick -
We change how we feel. 
And next time the wind comes,
The damage is less.
Our foundations are stronger,
We know the process.